Is This OK?: One Woman's Search For Connection Online

Product Information

given that morally ambiguous weird girl behaviour, '00s social media, online micro-communities and the blurred lines between url and irl are literally my favourite things to read about, i'm probably part of the exact audience gibsone set out to target with this book. i found her writing style funny and endearing, so didn't mind the few tangents that did little for plot progression. her deep dive into deliciously ella's pregnancy/birth/mum journey compared to hers is my fave part of the book. highly recommend! Harriet spent much of her young life feeding neuroses and insecurities with obsessive internet searching (including compulsive googling of exes, prospective partners, and their exes), and indulging in whirlwind 'parasocial relationships' (translation: one-sided affairs with celebrities she has never met). I am touched by her speedy, warm and honest response but a bit perturbed as to why I sent the message in the first place. Days before, I’d listened to an episode of her podcast in which she reassured listeners that it’s fine to feed your body whatever it asks for in the first trimester, and that she just ate potatoes. So why did I send it? I then vow to keep her at arm’s length, painfully aware that I’m never more than one G&T-in-a-can away from becoming the type of person who writes “Well done hun, you’re stronger than you’ll ever know” underneath a post from a former Towie cast member whose miniature schnauzer has just been diagnosed with diabetes.

Suddenly, with a diagnosis of early menopause in her late twenties, her relationship with the internet takes a darker turn, as her online addictions are thrown into sharp relief by the corporeal realities of illness and motherhood. How about an anonymous donor?” the doctor says. “It’s not a big deal. The baby’s still yours.” Mark agrees. I nod, but it does feel like a big deal. My body has been a scientific experiment for over a year now, and I need some space. I am horrified by the thought of putting someone else’s body into my body. It’s not great news. I’ve got premature ovarian insufficiency and I’ve got less than 5% chance of getting pregnant on my own,” I shout while walking through the rush-hour crowds. Persistently funny, ill-advisedly honest and deadly accurate . . . My mind is blown -- Caitlin Moran, author of More Than a Woman

Music journalist, self-professed creep and former winner of the coveted ‘Fittest Girl in Year 11’ award, Harriet Gibsone lives in fear of her internet searches being leaked. Until a diagnosis of early menopause in her late twenties, Harriet spent much of her young life feeding neuroses and insecurities with obsessive internet searching (including compulsive googling of exes, prospective partners, and their exes), and indulging in whirlwind ‘parasocial relationships’ (translation: one-sided affairs with celebrities she has never met).Suddenly staring down years of IVF, HRT and other invasive medical treatments, her relationship with the internet takes a darker turn, as her online addictions are thrown into sharp relief by the corporeal realities of illness and motherhood.An outrageously funny, raw and painfully honest account of trying to find connection in the age of the internet, Is This Ok? is the launch of an exciting new comic voice. Is This OK? One Woman’s Search for Connection Online by Harriet Gibsone – eBook Details

A few months pass and, at my 28-week appointment my midwife generously asks about a birthing plan, and we are encouraged to draw up a list of requirements to ensure tranquillity and focus. Like a projector showing a Glyndebourne live stream and access to a qualified reiki instructor, for example. But not me. Not little old low-maintenance, delicate angel me. “Just get the baby out of me alive!” I jest, nervously, and she looks relieved. Her social media output suggests her child’s birth was a slightly intense poo in a paddling pool, while ours was murderous In the weeks after the test, my husband can see I am struggling. He is, too. I can’t face putting Libby through it again; it’s a lot of time and physical and emotional labour. At this stage we are introduced to Dr Luca Sabatini by Debbie. A clean, strong, pragmatic Italian man, who is a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist. My hero. Honestly, I'm really struggling to work out whether I enjoyed this book or not. Is This Ok? is an autobiographical look at the life of Harriet Gisbone, a music journalist. The book follows her over a number of years and looks at how her use of the internet changes over time. Debbie, our nurse, talks us through the process: blastocysts, fertility investigations, egg transfers. I take notes, but none of the information goes in. Mark gesticulates wildly in time with the doctor’s insights, a sure sign that he has no idea, either.

Featured Reviews

In 2017, Harriet Gibsone was a music journalist for the Guardian – working hard, going out lots, and just married. She was ready for her 30s, but not quite ready for a family. Cheeks pink with a post-orgasmic flush, her hair damp and tangled, the woman in the small square photograph is surrendering to an expression of total euphoria. In her arms is a tiny creature, so new and unformed it is still practically an internal organ turned external. It’s a special baby. A healthy, happy baby. It’s Deliciously Ella’s baby.

I loved this book because it is SO relatable. Harriet is only a few years older than me, so I felt like I had a very similar experience of the world and pop culture growing up – the nostalgia really hit me reading this! But what really captivated me was Harriet’s unfiltered honesty and authenticity, as she fearlessly shared the highs and lows that many women can relate to.Waiting lists for specialists are long, and often women with POI bounce from GPs to pharmacists who have no idea about HRT and the condition in general. Together, on the Daisy Network’s Facebook group, we join the dots, share helpful articles and tips on how to combat symptoms, how to apply certain medicines, or simply unload our frustrations and sense of helplessness. Testosterone is currently a hot topic. I’m tempted to try it, for its confidence-boosting properties, but it also might make me hairy. It’s a relief to share this discombobulating diagnosis with these women, but on my worst nights I spend too much time online absorbing strangers’ trauma, and getting overwhelmed by my own. It is a connection to a very adult world, an exercise in anthropology. To follow the couple’s every move, even though they aren’t the demographic we are typically interested in, is mesmerising. It is an ambient, almost meditative experience that creates a silent sense of camaraderie between us. Two months go by. I can’t sit on this decision for too long. Anyone who’s ever done fertility treatment knows the waiting around is one of the worst bits. To have self-imposed limbo is foolish. It helps that Mark has remarkable clarity. We either want a baby, or we don’t. And we do, so we decide to put our absolute faith in the professionals and do whatever Sabatini tells us. Because of my condition, I don’t qualify for any free rounds of IVF, so we decide we’ll see him privately in London, and get the donor from a clinic in Madrid. It’ll be fast and they have an excellent success rate.

In the end, there’s no real moral to the story or moment of reflection. She doesn’t seem all that upset about the things she does, and I’m baffled why this previously unknown someone needed to write their life biography that has just shown the world that she should not be trusted with a computer or smartphone. She writes her story in such an open way and with such a comic, albeit self-deprecating voice, that I found this book next to impossible to put down, I guess it was that window into someone else’s life that she herself finds so addictive. But it is not just her writing style and her voice that is so compelling, it is the brave honesty and the raw edge-ness that is piled into this book that makes it fascinating. the first: her early twenties, as she juggles her young career as a music journalist with incessantly stalking pretty much everyone who enters her orbit online. Hilarious and cringe-inducingly nostalgic . . . It's a cliche to say You'll laugh, you'll cry, but with this book, you really will * New Statesman *At 7am the next day I get a call from an unknown number. A nurse from the hospital. She has bad news. None of the eggs has fertilised.